Imagination

Fight A Good War (STPM)

2005-11-11T04:42:00.000-08:00

I cant remember the last time i posted something here.. Owh yea, may 18th lol.. but still its been a long time. I guess all these while, i never thought what i can post about on my blog eventhough alot has happened since May. Well there's 2 more days before my paper starts for STPM and i know many other have started already. If so happens, u ppl managed to go online n glanced through this blog.. I wish you all the very best in ur exams and give it all because there's no point keeping what you have to yourself ^^. Moving on.. I guess the question would be, whats going to be next? To be honest, i dont know.. there's absolutely nothing on my mind right now that i can be certain about. There's plans to get a part time job and partying to celebrate the end of the teenage years and the start of adulthood. Well, thats something alright. I gotta say though, as the day passes by, i feel happier living in it. It definitely helps alot when you dont look around too much but focus on what is there ahead of you.

Im not going to go into story mode or talk about particular topics in this post coz i dont really have the inspiration nor the time to think about something like tat. Some ppl might find it easy to just pick a topic and shoot out sentences at their will. As for me, i need inspiration and the desire to talk about something. I guess thats just the way my mind works and if guys arent interested, well perhaps you shouldnt have started reading my blog in the first place. Erm.. Im not sure if im gonna post anymore in the near future but ill definitely start blogging again right after the exam. Consider this post my comeback post and definitely it would not be complete without a lil something to read at the end ( for e.g poetry, song lyrics, etc.. )

So ill end today's post with a couple songs for people to read and enjoy..

Song: Turn Me On
Artist: Norah Jones

Like a flower
Waiting to bloom
Like a lightbulb
In a dark room
Im just sittin here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on

Like the desert waiting for the rain
Like a school kid waiting for the spring
Im just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on

My poor heart
Its been so dark
Since youve been gone
After all your the one who turns me off
You're the only one who can turn me back on

My Hi-fi is waiting for a new tune
My glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes
I'm just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on
Turn me on

Song: Sweetest Goodbye
Artist: Maroon 5

Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I
Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart

I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel..

Lyricss...

2005-05-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

Song: Selamanya
Singer: Innuendo

Pabila kudengar
Suaramu nun dikalbu
Inginku menanti
Senyuman manismu

Kupasti dirimu
Terkenangkan suaruku
Usahlah kau menafikan
Cinta yang terpendam sesama kita

Kumendoakan
Demi keikhlasanmu
Kubersyukur pada yang Maha Esa
Hilanglah kesepian kita

CHORUS

Dikau takhta di hatiku
Bersama kita bina istana cinta
Kurela bersamamu
Di angkasa bergema mekar dan rela
Hingga akhir hayatku
Pastinya bersama
Kasihmu yang kurindui
Selamanya..

Bertapa sukarnya
Kumemahami dirimu
Namun hatiku membara
Tiada apa yang dapat dilakukan

BRIDGE

Sekiranya perasaanmu berduka
kusesali segalanya
Kerna kaulah segalanya bagiku..

Another Tiring Day

2005-05-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

Heyy ppl.. its just another tiring day for me. I dont know why but it seems like im feeling really tired as the day passes. Its like something is draining me dry. Hm.. anyways im not going to write such a long post today. Actually most of the time today in school was basically bad. I did nothing in class except for micro economics. The lower 6 came in today for their orientation. I think its going to be a proper start for them. Good thing there werent much havoc goin on in school considering it is ST JOE after all. I gotta say alot of new faces too. Perhaps if i still have a chance this year, i might be able to make a few new friends =P

Lets talk about whats going on with me tommorow. I heard there will be a seminar for my class n d rest of the form 6 i think. So.. im lookin forward to that. Besides that, i have economics test tommorow arghhh gotta study later. I cant afford to fail again... later after the seminar, there will be a presentation for my business studies class. soo its pretty much a packed day tommorow. Hm.. i might even have a PA test tommorow but im not soo sure about tat one.

My my.. there sure is alot of stuff goin on.. arghhh im just gonna forget about it since i still need to prepare something for my presentation n also revise for my test. Hm.. I feel pretty lonely today for some reason. I shouldnt b but i am.. its kinda weird i guess. Anyways ill keep u guys updated in a fews days time. I dont think there will be anything interesting to share at the momment. Till then, take good care of urself =)

My Songs For This Month

2005-05-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

Song: Istimewa
Singer: Innuendo

Tiada puisi atau lagu
Tiada potret tiada ragu
Yang dapat ku ilham seindahmu
Nyata kau satu dalam berjuta
Wahai jelita kau istimewa

Walau ku kembara sedunia
Walau kutemu ramai wanita
Nyata kau tiada tandingannya
Seikhlas hati aku menyinta
Kau istimewa, teristimewa

CHORUS

Daku berikrar
Wahai maharaniku
Bina mahligai syahdu
Hanya engkau dan aku di situ

Tiada mimpi atau fantasi
Tiada rasa lebih berseri
Semekar murni hatimu sayang
Siang dan malam, aku terbayang
Kau istimewa, buat ku tenang

CHORUS

Daku berikrar
Wahai maharaniku
Bina mahligai Syahdu
Hanya engkau dan aku di situ

Ingin ku bawa kau ke awana
Ingin memadu kasih asmara
Sepanjang hayatku curah cinta
Sebenar-benar ucapan kata
Kau istimewa oh.. Percayalah
Ku perlu cinta dari wanitaku nan istimewa
beriku cintamu nan istimewa..

Song: You And Me
Singer: Lifehouse

What day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive
I cant keep up
and i cant back down
ive been losing so much time

Cause its you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and its you and me and all of the people
and i dont know why
i cant keep my eyes off of u

All of the things that i want to say
just arent coming out right
im tripping inwards
you got my head spinning
i dont know where to go from here

Cause its you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
noting to prove
and its you and me and all of the people
and i dont know why
i cant keep my eyes off of you

BRIDGE

There's something about you now
I cant quite figure out
everything she does is beautiful
everything she does is right

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and its you and me and all of the people
and i dont know why
i cant keep my eyes off of you

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and its you and me and all of the people
and i dont know why
i cant keep my eyes off of you

What day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive..

Song: You Belong To Me
Singer: Lifehouse

See the pyramids around the Nile
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
just remember darling all the while
you belong to me

see the marketplace in old Angier
send me photographs and souvenirs
just remember when a dream appears
you belong to me

and ill be so alone without you
maybe youll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when its wet with rain
just remember till youre home again
you belong to me

oh ill be so alone without you
maybe youll be lonesome too

fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when its wet with rain
just remember till youre home again
you belong to me..

Finally..

2005-05-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

Its been ages since i last posted something up. Perhaps its the last thing on my mind nowadays. Ill try to change that and keep you all updated with my current life. Hm.. the last time i stopped posting was in Febuary, so now its May... hehe.. alot of new things had popped out since Febuary. To higlight a few... i had a few trips, wished a few of my friends on their birthdays, had an exams, parent teacher's day, holidays and the most special one would be meeting some new friends =).

Ill consider today as a new day which means that ill post something new every 3 days or so just you wont miss out on whats been happening with my life.. hehe.. if ure interested to know that is. Hm.. My younger brother is going to Labuan today.. he's been accepted to the Matriculation Course and i reckon its going to be quite an experience for him. He had to pack and get a few things ready. Hehe.. looks like im the only one left in Kuching at the momment. Anyways, I wish him all the best over there and i hope he'll adapt fast so that he wont get himself lost or something. Besides that, my older brother came back a couple of days ago.. soo i guess the house wont be so empty until a month or so.. hehe.. ahhh tommorow, my school will be havin a teacher's day assembly. I wont be going to school though, coz my class is having a day off due to MUET. Another day for me to rest and sort out a few things in my life. I can assure that next week will be quite a busy week. To list down a few:

-Teacher's day Assembly
-New intake of Form 6
-Economic test
-Business Studies Presentation
-Business Studies Test
-General Studies Test

Well i think there is still a few that i can add to that list but its still to early to say. Usually things tend to turn up at the very last minute. Hmm.. Oh yea.. i just recently had my MUET exams. It was really HORRIBLE... i can confirm to all of you that i am not very good in english. Perhaps i cant even speak so well, its pretty amazing people can understand what is coming out of my mouth. It started off 2 weeks ago when i had my written and listening test on a SATURDAY. Listening wasnt so bad coz i cleaned my ears the night before soo i can hear it pretty clearly. Plus, i was placed right infront of the hall, so.. its kinda hard for me not to be able to hear. The written test was really tough.. I know i screwed up with my summary and Essay. ARRGGhh.. lets not go into so much details. That ship had sailed and ive missed my ride.. lets just forget about that.

Another weekend which i will never forget is when i had this telematch in Lodge School. It was my first one in many years. Hehe.. im not that old.. i know, its just tat its been awhile u know. Moving on.. it consist of a few school including st theresa, st joseph and Lodge school. The telematch was meant for the form 4 prefects while the facilitators are in form 5. Which left me the oldest one there. Hehe.. anyways it did led to its purpose which is to make new friends among other schools. They had fun and exciting activities like treasure hunt, memory game, pictionary with english proverbs (HARD) and many more. I didnt last long though as i got myself hurt from one of the activities. So the second half of the day, i pretty much sat out from the activities and stayed there to make sure everybody else was alright. I even made a few new friends. I gotta say one of them is really nice because she was taking care of the welfare side of things and making sure everybody was alright. She did look pretty jaded that day and i was kinda concern since she was really nice to me. Kept me company when i was there. It was really nice of her to so. If ure reading this, I truly appreaciate ur concerns and i will cherish the friendship that has been made. Later that day, me and the boys said our goodbyes to the school and went our own seperate ways.

Now that i think of it, That was one of the worse week i ever had. To mentioned a few, I had chest pains on the day that i was having my history test. Those marks will be accumulated to our Monthly exams. I went to the hospital that to get it check, it was diagnosed as muscular cramps or minor symptoms of stress. Either way, it was pretty bad for me. The next day, i was picking up a few things to be put upstairs.. I ended up slipping and fell. In the process i hurt my left hamstring. Its kinda common actually so i just walked it off. The biggest mistake ive made was probably playing tennis and football the day after that. Made my hamstring worse and twitched my ankle while playing football. I guess im pretty stubborn sometimes as in not listening to the massages my body is giving me. By the end of it, im now suffering from fatigue and body aches. Hhehe.. sounds like im getting old aye? =P ahh alrite, im not going to talk so much about my misfortunes.

Anyways, im just going to stop here for awhile. I have been really rusty with this so its going to take awhile. I hope this coming week will bring me much joy and excitement. hehe.. A guy can always wish rite?

Ill keep you all posted.. till then =)

My Songs To You

2005-02-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

Song: Misunderstood
Singer: Robbie Williams

I was trying to be misunderstood
But it didn't do me any good
I always seem to start a fight
I'd break my heart to make things right
Let them all fly off

When it comes down it all comes down
And you will not be found
When it's over it's all over
And even if you make a sound

You'll be misunderstood
By the beautiful and good in this city
But none of it was planned
Take me by the hand
Just don't try and understand

Trying to be misunderstood
Another product of my childhood
Still I find myself outside
You can't say I haven't tried
Perhaps I tried too hard

No excuses I won't apologise
Or justify your lies
Come and find me tell them to me
Now look me in the eyes

I'll be misunderstood
By the beautiful and good in this city
But none of it was planned
Take me by the hand
Just don't try and understand

I can't forgive sorry to say
Don't know you're guilty anyway
Isn't it funny how we don't speak
The language of love?

Song: Eternity
Singer: Robbie Williams

Close your eyes so you don't feel them
They don't need to see you cry
I can't promise I will heal you
But if you want to I will try

I sing this summer serenade
The past is done we've been betrayed
It's true

Someone said the truth will out
I believe without a doubt in you

(chorus)
You were there for summer dreaming
and you gave me what I need
and I hope you'll find your freedom
for eternity, for eternity

Yesterday when we were walking
You talked about your mum and dad,
What they did that made you happy,
What they did that made you sad.

We sat and watched the sun go down
Picked a star before we lost the moon
Youth is wasted on the young
before you know it's come and gone,
too soon

You were there for summer dreaming
and you gave me what I need
and I hope you find your freedom
for eternity, for eternity

I sing this summer serenade
the past is done we've been betrayed
it's true
youth is wasted on the young
before you know it's come and gone
too soon

you were there for summer dreaming
and you are a friend indeed
and I hope you'll find your freedom
for eternity
you were there for summer dreaming
and you are a friend indeed
and I know you'll find your freedom
eventually

For eternity, for eternity.......

Song: Superstar
Singer: Ruben Studdard

Long ago
And oh so far away
I fell in love with you
Before the second show

And your guitar
And you sound so sweet and clear
But you're not really here
It's just the radio

[Chorus]
Don't you remember you told me you love me baby
You said you'd be coming back this way again
Baby, baby, baby, baby ohoooooooo baby
I love you
I really do

Loneliness,
is such a sad affair
Sad affair
And I can't hardly wait to be with you again
And what to say,
to say to make you come again
Ohhh honey
Come on back to me again

I wanna be,
I wanna be anywhere you are

ohhhh....

Chorus 2x

Song: Run
Singer: Snow Patrol

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

[Chorus]
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

[Chorus]

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Feeling Awkward

2005-02-07T21:20:00.000-08:00

Im beginning to feel that awkwardness from a crush i never really expected. It all started from a lousy crush which i thought would only last for a week but ended up lasting for a year. I just cant imagine myself being in this situation untill today. I couldnt stop thinking about her no matter how hard i tried. Switched on the tv, listened to music, even slept half of the day just to get her off my mind. Yet she's there, dreamt of her again.. this is completely silly as its eating me alive.

The last thing i wanna do is to scare her away. Its my secret love that i shall never reveal. She deserves more than me as i dont trust myself to bring happiness in her life. I go each day hoping to her smile. Everytime when i see those eyes lit up, ill feel satisfied and it helps me to search for my happy thoughts. Its sad to know that its come to this.. but ill live with it anyways.. living it all to god's hands as i dont dare to cross the line of awkwardness that im in now. It would practically kill off everything i believe in..

There is a million words that i wish to express.. telling her how im feeling right now.. but ill hold myself back anyway so that she doesnt have to know. I realise now that im too shy to face all of this again.. To think that i wanna get back in the game but that door has closed and im finding it hard to search for the keys.

Could this be true love? or could it be one of those feelings that's meant to be there to hurt u. I feel a connecting though its weak, i sense an attraction though its only temporary, i learn to love though its making me sick, Im going through life with all these sad memories...
hehe.. i know my blog is not like the ones i post often. Its all based on raw emotions and thoughts that was never meant to be there. This post is dedicated to you.. i shall never write about you again if you dont want me to. Perhaps this is the last time ill ever type about you.. who knows.. soo if you happened to read this, im gonna express it all right now. Eventhough you wont come across this blog... i hope you do one day as i sense you from far living the happiest life that god could ever offer.

I first noticed you and i felt this warmt like no other, i thought it was only a crush as i tend to feel a lil something when i see a beautiful image infront of me. After that day.. i never thought ill ever see you again. still you were there deep down.. As time goes my feelings grew stronger but still i fear for the worse. I dont understand this feeling and ive learned not to understand it because its not meant to b understood. Some may say that its only infatuation but it brings love to a new dimension to me as ive never expected it to be this strong. I dont dare to say those 3 words as i still believe that its too good to be true. Then you came back and you made me see that youre too good to be true. I hope you realise that you are true. Everything that i see in you is true.. Youre the only thing that always seem to be on my mind and you keep me thinking deeply everyday. Im so thankful that i still get to see you now and see u smiling when i do. When youre hurt and feeling low.. i know its burns me as im shackled to watch. There's still things to say but i fear it would never end.. Im just going straight to the point and i just wanna wish you this. No matter what happens in the future.. i would still think of you... who ever you're fated to be.. i will be happy for you and give you all the support that you need. Youre just too special for anyone to have but if you do end up with somebody.. he'll be the most luckiest person alive.. I guess this is it.. there's nothing left to be said but a long goodbye..

I still hope that things can be different and i know for a fact it still can be. This post is an insurance for myself if you end up feeling otherwise.. If we really are meant to be, then i shall wait for it to come while searching for the truth about life.

If there is anybody reading this blog.. Ill be ok. Dont worry about me =) im just letting it all out so that maybe ill be able to feel better about myself. I just hope she'll come across this blog so that she'll know how i truly feel... Im just to scared as im a coward. I admit that when i truly love someone.. i can never say how i truly feel and i find that typing it out is the best way...

Anyways.. that is it for now.. Ill blog about something else next time.. till then... ;)

If Only...

2005-01-27T18:38:00.000-08:00

Heyy guys, there's nothing much for me to blog actually just that ill be showered with tests by teachers starting friday all the way till sports day hehe.. (weekend not included, what? u nuts? gezzz) anyways, im just gonna drop a couple of lyrics or so for today's blog like i always do.. hehe.. really if u wanna request any lyrics at all.. just tell me through the tagboard.. ill try my best to browse through my world of crap (my thoughts) n share something with u =)

Well.. im pretty sure all of you have been through broken hearts before and its one of the worse feelings that u ever wanna experience in your life.. Ive been through it countless of time. One of the reason is because sometimes i just dont dare to take a chance towards a girl that i really like.. it may seem like im being scardy cat but you cant blame coz ive been turned down too many times that i cant count anymore. Luckily this year, i have been goin easy n not rushed into things.. hehe.. i might b hinting that im into someone but even if i do.. i wont tell you just yet hehe... =P well here's a song for those who's been heartbroken by the one that you love..

Song: One Last Cry
Singer: Brian McKnight
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

Cry......

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me

Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

Chorus:One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on

And on.....

I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...To my last cry...

Well to be fair, ill put in a song that celebrates new born love.. which im fortunate enough to experience in my life a couple of times though it didnt last..
Only time will tell whether i would ever feel that way again.. knowing that i dont really believe in it anymore.. Hm.. Ill dedicate this song to all the couples that are in love right now and i pray that it will last long. If youre lucky, you might even hear me sing a song to dedicate it to you.. lol okk.. nvm..

Song: When You Say Nothing At All
Singer: Ronan Keating

It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don’t say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me when ever I fall
You say it best..when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud (ouuuuuu..)
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (drown out the crowd)
Try as they may they can never define
What’s been said between your heart and mine

Chorus x 2

(you say it best when you say nothing at all
You say it best when you say nothing at all..)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand

Let’s me know that you need me..

-EnD-

To You And Forever

2005-01-25T15:20:00.000-08:00

hii.. here's a few songs thats on my mind lately and i hope you will like them =)

Song: Remember
Singer: Josh Groban

Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning
So brightly
It is the last light
To fade into the rising sun

I'm with you whenever you tell
My story
For I am all I've done
RememberI will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory
Remember me

I am that warm voice in the cold wind
That whispers
And if you listen
You'll hear me call across the sky

As long as I still can reach out
And touch you
That I will never die

Remember
I'll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me

Remember I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever

Remember me
Remember me
Remember me

Song: Let Me Fall
Singer: Josh Groban

Let me fall
Let me climb
There’s a moment when fear
And dreams must collide

Someone I am
Is waiting for courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won’t heed your warnings
I won’t hear them

Let me fall
If I fall
Though the phoenix may
Or may not rise

I will dance so freely
Holding on to no one
You can hold me only
If you too will fall
Away from all these
Useless fears and chains

Someone I am
Is waiting for my courage
The one I want
The one I will become
Will catch me

So let me fall
If I must fall
I won’t heed your warnings
I won’t hear

Let me fall
If I fall
There’s no reason
To miss this one chance
This perfect moment
Just let me fall

Hm.. here's a love song for u =)

Song: Still
Singer: Brian McKnight

Funny when you
Stop and think
Time goes faster
Than you blink
But nothing's ever
Like it was

But girl we've got
A special thing
And all the happiness it brings
Is more than enough

I know it's hard to believe
You're still the
Biggest part of me
All I'm living for

I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
And need you by my side

I'm still mad about you
All I ever wanted was you
You're still the one
You're still the one

It's hard to breathe
When we're apart
You're like sunshine
In my heart
I keep you here inside

You've been
Everything to me
You've been and
Always will be
The apple of my eye

I know it's hard to believe
You're still the
Biggest part of me
All I'm living for

I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
And need you by my side

I'm still mad about you
All I ever wanted was you
You're still the one
You're still the one

If you love me
Look into my eyes
And say you do
I've been waiting
All my life
For someone
Just like you

And baby after all
We've been through
Girl I'm still in love with you
And I want you to knowI do, I do

I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
And need you by my side

I'm still mad about you
All I ever wanted was you
You're still the one
You're still the one

-END-

Im Back

2005-01-25T14:28:00.000-08:00

Heyy everyone, i know i havent been blogging for quite some time. im sorry for that. i guess this is my first blog of the year.. hehe.. soo erm.. Happy Belated New Year to everyone~ goshh alot has happened throughout the weeks since i last posted a blog. Im not really going to talk about it coz its all in d past. i guess thats the last thing that i wanna talk about really..

I guess i outta start with today as it is a fresh week and also a fresh start for myself. I came to school quite early today since i had to drive to school. Went out of the car and saw calista and lilian as i was on the way to class. Before i went up, i had look at the duty list for this week. I managed to get single duty again.. goshh tats the 3rd week in a row. I guess i shouldnt mind since its giving me some space to breathe but i would prefer not to have it in a row. Class was alright... just tat i found out that i failed again for my history even when i put some effort into it. i guess a lil effort wont cut it anymore.. oh well.. recess was normal.. im the compound collector for this week. Goshh what am i talking about.. has my life been really dull till i can only talk about school? hm.. ill just drop this part n skip to another.

Well i reached home sometime in d afternoon after a somewhat normal day in school. I wasnt really in the best of mood but i pulled my chin up anyways.. I know and i realise that something is bothering me and its not for the first time. Death have crossed my minds countless of time perhaps because of the feelings of loneliness thats starting to overshadow my life. I also know for a fact that im not lonely at all since my friends are always around me. I feel a sense of relief everytime when i look at them with a cheerful smile. Atleast i know that they all are doing alright. I know being negative is the last thing a person should b and i always tell ppl to b positive but in fact im not really positive. It sounds like im a hypocrite.. and i admit, in a way i am. Eventhough i know that i am this way deep down, it doesnt stop me to smile and have fun with my friends.. believe me, im trying to b as positive as the next person. Its just tat my wound never healed. Just like a crippled person forcing himself to walk. I can barely think of my future then again to make things work in the present. All i have now is my faith to believe. I still believe in miricles and i still believe in everyone.

I know the passage above sounds a lil weird but ive just torn a page of my mind n paste it in my blog. well its not really a page but a paragraph of a page. Well im just gonna drop tat too. Gonna share with you all something more positive. I was thinking of songs that enlightened hearts that will definitely leave u on a high =) well ill post a few lyrics for you all later so that perhaps all you can experience a lil bit of love from these songs as valentine's day is comin up.

Hehe.. its is said that February is the month of love. It is also the month that i was borned. Im not trying to hint anything but February the 13th isnt so hard to remember rite? =P well how does it feel to receive ur first valentine's day card. I reckon everyone cant remember or never experienced it before like myself. I cant remember receiving a valentine personally from anybody as im not as lucky like others. Its flattering i guess but it also shows that there are ppl out there besides ur family tat actually takes a notice of u. =) I know you dont have to go all out just because of this day and you should know as well tat valentines day can be everyday just as long as u let that person know tat u love him/her. It doesnt matter if he or she is ur other half or ur best friend.. just let them know, i know i would appreaciate it when i receive tat saying sincerely. Hehe.. u dont really have to say it everyday but show it once in awhile. Hm.. i guess im starting to sound a lil corny but im just speaking out my mind.

To Believe

ive seen it all in my short time
experience feelings tats forbidden at first
i no longer need love
as i only wish to see my spouse to give birth

Life is interesting indeed
wondering the future that might be
im suffering each minute as i bleed
all i have now is to believe in me

I am falling which i wont deny
Hurting inside without the chance to heal
to feel this way i can only ask why
nothing that i see seems to be real

But not to worry because i believe
in U and my blessed friends
just as long as i give i will eventually receive
my life would end with bitter sweet memories

I leave now with a few words to say
eventhough time is no longer by my side
i wish you all to forever feel love
and so end my thoughts with one saying in line

LOVE IS PRECIOUS AS IT IS BITTER,
IT WILL COME TO YOU,
WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN IT...
SO NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN LOVE AND YOURSELF..

2005-01-10T22:20:00.000-08:00

yuuhi

Songs For You Vol.2

2004-12-16T15:21:00.000-08:00

Well since im the mood to share love songs to you all.. ill share to you and esp for you some of my all time fav. song.. i hope you'll like it as much as i did.. enjoy~

Song: Truly Madly Deeply
Singer: Savage Garden

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need

I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
'cause I'm counting on
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning, yeah

[chorus:]
I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bath with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
The highest powers
In lonely hours
The tears devour you

[chorus]

Oh can you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cause it's standing right here before you
All that you need with surely come

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do

[chorus]
I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to live like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

Song: Puppy Love
Singer: Donny Osmond

And they called it puppy love
Oh I guess they'll never know
How a young heart really feels
And why I love her so

And they called it puppy love
Just because we're in our teens
Tell them all please that it isn't fair
To take away my only dream

I cry each night my tears for you
My tears are all in vain
Oh I'll hope and I'll pray
That may be some day
You'll be back in my arms once again

Someone help me,help me please
Is the answer up above
How can I ever oh how can i tell them
This is not a puppy love

Someone help me,help me, help me please
Is the answer up above?
How can I ever oh how can i tell them
This is not a puppy love

Memories of the Past and preSent

2004-12-15T14:41:00.000-08:00

Hm.. i spend the whole night thinking about what could have been if i was brave enough to say all those words to the one that im in love with.. i know that truly loving someone is to give time a chance to bond together what could have been and taking a chance is will change a feeling no matter what the outcome may be. Its as if perfect love is lying helpless in d middle of death mountain with only a small platform support her. Making a choice to jump towards it.. not knowing what will happen.. if it is true love then she would catch me if i slip and not make it and if i dont then i would only plunge to my death knowing that it was an illusion after all.. Hehehe.. funny enough i was playing with my mind thinking about this.. This was of course after i chatted with my friends online.. One of them shared with me some of the love songs that i truly love and even introduced me to something new. The song is called 'The Gift'.. it was played by jim brickman and sang by collin raye and susan ashton.. it was as if love at first sight.. i was really into the song and it blossomed unforgetful memories that touched me in d past. i really wanna share the song to everyone who havent heard it before. =)

Well i woke up quite early today.. around 7.30am compared to the normal time at 11am coz i had to pick my brother up from school.. hmm.. maybe its because i had quite a long day yesterday since i was doin an obsticle course in school for RC camp. On monday.. i spend some time helping my friends building the obsticle course and stayed overnight in school.. and i dont know why but i stayed up all the way till morning where i played badminton with my fren n the later continued with supervising the obsticle course.. and luckily enough i went to bed at 2pm and woke myself up around 9.30pm.. hehe.. well i think later on, i was alright so i managed to sleep well and wake up as usual without feeling too tired. =) though it was really an experience since i spend the whole night talkin about ghost stories in school and shared experiences with my frens.. hm.. well probably the most happening thing that happened this week before im goin off in a couple of days time..

well here's the song that i wanted to share with u all.. enjoy

Song: The Gift
Singer: Jim Brickman feat. Collin Raye and Susan Ashton

Winter snow is falling down
Children laughing all around
Lights are turning on
Like a fairy tale come true
Sitting by the fire we made
You’re the answer when I prayed
I would find someone
And baby I found you

Chorus:
All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart
From being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful every day
For the gift

Watching as you softly sleep
What I’d give if I could keep
Just this moment
If only time stood still
But the colors fade away
And the years will make us grey
But baby in my eyes
You’ll still be beautiful

(chorus)

(piano solo)

Chorus:
All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart
From being broken apart
You gave your love away
I can’t find the words to say
That I’m thankful everyday
For the gift

Songs For you

2004-12-13T07:25:00.000-08:00

Song: Curtain Falls
Singer: Blue

[Duncan :]
We come from humble beginnings and
Who could have guessed it when
You sit and doubt it and
Things ain't all that bright
But we made it though the night
It's like a game of truth or dare
If you can make it here You'll make it anywhere
That's what we've been toldBut the stories getting old

[Lee :]
Together we faced the cold outside
No one can say we didn't try
And I will never give you up or let you go
Together we faced our final fears
Remember the moments that we shared
That's why I'll never give you up or let you go

[All :]
We'll be ready when the curtain might fall
Feel my heart beating when the crowd calls
I gotta read between the lines
Cuz I'm living out the script of my life
Cuz we all got a part we must play
And I've done it but I've done it my way
I gotta read between the lines Oohh (oohh)
In the script of my life

[Simon :]
We started out many years ago
No one will ever know
How far we've really come
Since we walked away
And no more words to say

[Antony :]
And we made a lot of sacrifice
Undid a lot of ties
Fought a lot of fights
To get where we are now
Just don't ask me how

[Lee :]
Together we faced the cold outside
No one can say we didn't try
And I will never give you up or let you go
Together we faced our final fears
Remember the moments that we shared
That's why I'll never give you up or let you go

[All :]
We'll be ready when the curtain might fall
Feel my heart beating when the crowd calls
I gotta read between the lines
Cuz I'm living out the script of my life
Cuz we all got a part we must play
And I've done it but I've done it my way
I gotta read between the lines
Oohh In the script of my life

[Simon :]
We'll be ready when the curtain might fall
Feel my heart beating when the crowd calls
I gotta read between the lines
Cuz I'm living out the script of my life
Cuz we all got a part we must play
And I've done it but I've done it my way
I gotta read between the lines In the script of my life

[Chorus All x 2 ]

Song: Semusim
Singer: Marcell

Semuanya telah terjadi
Cintaku telah pergi
Dan kini kusendiri
Tanpamu dirimu lagi
Tak mudah menepis cerita indah

CHORUS
Semusim telah kulalui
Telah kulewati tanpa dirimu
Tetapi bayang wajahmu
Masih tersimpan di hati

Tak pernah kubayangkan
Kau putuskan cintaku
Kucoba tuk lupakan
Semua tentang dirimu
Tak mudah bagiku melupakanmu

Semusim telah kulalui
Telah kulewati tanpa dirimu
Tetapi bayang wajahmu
Masih tersimpan di hati

CHORUS x3

Back in The MOoD

2004-12-12T07:02:00.000-08:00

Heyy there, i guess its been awhile you guys really heard from me, sorry bout that.. ive just been completely lazy to write anything on d blog. Ive decided to lift my heavy bum and write something. Well let me summarize the things that i havent really updated since i last posted.

Erm.. first of all i had a hikin trip to mount santubong, i managed to reach the top and was pretty beat up after that.. hehe.. but it was great... i enjoyed every minute of it since i spend most of my time with my close friends there.. wished it didnt have to end so soon.. hehe.. well that was way back in november.. hehe.. now that its december.. there isnt much happening actually except im living for KL in a few days time to escape from KCH.. hehe.. well i might b able to do some shopping... who knows.. =P though i rather just browse.. cant afford most of things that i want anyways =( hehe.. bsides that, Im actually given the license to drive around now by my parents.. even my dad's car.. hahaha i know its not a big deal but it is for me since ive been dying to drive around for the past few months.. though its not much fun since im like d family's driver now.. sigh.. guess i better b careful wat i wish for.

Well i guess i can share this one to you ppl.. There was a point during this holiday that i really wanted to give up on love. I felt it had hurt me more than it do me any good. I just felt stupid and betrayed by it. Hehe.. if you really know me well, you know that im really into love and for me to think that way is just crazy.. and infact it is. Someone helped me realised that i shouldnt run away from something that i truly believe in.. Im gonna keep that person anonymous so that im not gonna embarase anyone esp. myself.. hahaha.. I know this is gonna sound corny but i love to love.. i know that im not attached at the momment nor i am about to reach that stage. Im just happy the way things are and definitely happy to be given the freedom to flirt with anyone that i desire.. hahaha except for attached women.. ; ) hehe

Hm.. I guess ill just leave a couple of lyrics for ppl to read like i always do.. songs of the day if u like. Perhaps ill share something that ive wrote when im actually feeling it.. so enjoy.. =) If you guys wanna share anything with me at all.. i mean anything.. just leave a msg in tag board.

Just for you

2004-11-26T15:55:00.000-08:00

Song: Put your head on my shoulder
Singer: Michael Buble

Put your head on my shoulder
Hold me in your arms, baby
Squeeze me oh so tight
Show me that you love me too.

Put your lips close to mine, dear
Won't you kiss me once, baby
Just a kiss good-night
Maybe you and I will fall in love.

Some people say that love's a game
A game you just can't win.
If there's a wayI'll find it some day
And then this fool will rush in.

Put your head on my shoulder
Whisper in my ear baby
Words I want to hear tell me
Tell me that you love me too.

Put your head on my shoulder
Whisper in my ear baby
Put your head on my shoulder.

Song: How can you mend a broken heart
Singer: Michael Buble

I can think of younger days
When living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow
But I was never told about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?

How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart
And let me live again

I can still feel the breeze
That rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow
No one said a word about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?

And how can you mend this broken man?
(And how can you mend this broken man?)

How can a loser ever win?
(How can a loser ever win?)

Please help me mend my broken heart
And let me live again

How can you mend this broken man?
How can you mend?
How can a loser ever win?
How can you win
Please help me mend my broken heart
And let me live again

And let me live again...

Finally

2004-11-25T22:14:00.000-08:00

Heyy everyone.. im finally in the mood to write something after awhile. Actually im not fully recovered from my santubong trip. Hehe.. i cant believe i actually reached all the way to the top of mount santubong. Eventhough it took alot of sweat and energy but it was worth it. Lasted for a few hours. Disappointed when i reached the top because it was like a site where the dump garbage in. sigh.. hehe.. I know ill be talking about this in the future to come because its sorta like a small achievement to me. I even wanted to quit a couple times when i was on the way there coz i was tired and had cramps everywhere. I guess something gave me the will to carry on. At some point, i didnt even know that i have the strength and courage to continue. Ok ok.. ill just stop talking about tat coz its history, my history.

Hm.. so where do i go from here. Owh right, im at home now safe and well. hehehe.. gosh, i guess im just not that good at writing journals. Im sorry...=)

Well atleast this is something eventhough its not much. i just wanted to add something since i havent been keeping up to date with the blog. I know the festive week is over and its back to normal for me. I know i should start studying soon but i dont really wanna add those things in my blog. Academic Studies are meant to be shared verbally not read through blogs. Its like i dont have anything better to share. Everyone else study rite? so we all have that in common. Its nothing new.

Have you ever really felt love? When that special someone looks deeply into ur eyes without fear or worry. Expressing their heart felt love to you sincerly. I dont believe in love anymore because its overated. I know that i talk about it often but its really just a memory to me. Honestly i dont wanna talk about it but its always in my mind. Its like i have no control over it. I find it easier to express everything which are lovey dovey to someone so that i dont have to think about it all the time. Is it love when youre having a good time with ur other half? Is it love when you feel all warm inside everytime when he/she is around? I know its a feeling that only last for a moment but a memory that last for a lifetime. I know that love only comes around once in our life and if youre lucky maybe twice. To me, love is a spark that last for a split second which leaves a scar that would last forever. hehe.. i dont know what im talkin about actually. Its just something on my mind right now.

Well gonna stop for now, will write something more useful next time.. hehehe.. im just gonna leave a couple of lyrics like always for you guys to enjoy. Till next time =)

...

2004-11-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

Well i know that im suppose to post something interesting today but i dont seem to be able to do so. This is mainly because ive been occupied and busy today cleaning up the house for the festive season which happens to be tommorow.. hm.. Well im kinda tired now but it doesnt really stop me from talking about something. Just didnt want to let you guys down completely. I know reading the same post over and over again can be pretty boring.

Lets see.. i dont really know to talk about really just that ill probably be having a pretty pleasant week with the visiting and entertaining ppl that comes over to visit my place. Hm.. How bout some lyrics to read? Hehe.. i know ive been taking the easy way out by sticking in other ppl's songs into my blog. =P Well maybe one of these days ill put some of my own songs into my post but till that day comes, i hope u all just enjoy reading them. Tell you all what, if you ever wanna get a song out of me, Just come on over and request for one. Hm.. that is if u dont mind hearing me singing u a tune hehe.. There's no promises that ill sing to you but if youre really nice.. ull never know ;)

Here's a couple of lyrics for you all to enjoy...

Song: Somewhere Only We Know
Singer: Keane

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

(break)

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

HmmmaaaAAAA.....Ahhhoooooo....

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

Here's a chinese song to add some variety into this blog.. hehe.. =D

Song: Ge Qian
Singer: Jay Chou

jiu wei fang qing de tian kong
yi jiu liu zhe ni de xiao rong
ku guo
quw wu fan yan mai qian jiu
feng zheng zai yin tian ge qian
xiang nian hai zai deng dai jiu yuan
wo la zhe xian
fu xi ni gei de wen rou

pu shai zai yi pang de ji mo
xiao wo gei bu qi cheng nuo
zen me hui zen me hui ni jing yuan liang le wo

wo zhi neng yong yuan du zhe dui bai
du zhe wo gei ni de shang hai
wo yuan liang bu liao wo
jiu qing ni dang zuo wo yi bu zai
wo zheng kai shuang yan kan zhe kong bai
wang ji ni dui wo de qi dai
du wan le yi lai
wo hen kuai jiu li kai

( repeat)

Wo zhi neng yong yuan du zhe dui bai
du zhe wo gei ni de shang hai
wo yuan liang bu liao wo
jiu qing ni dang zuo wo yi bu zai
wo zheng kai shuang yan kan zhe kong bai
wang ji ni dui wo de qi dai
du wan le yi lai
wo hen kuai jiu li kai...

...

2004-11-09T06:04:00.000-08:00

Heyy guyz... im not really in the mood to talk about anything tonight so i guess ill just add a couple of lyrics from some of my fav songs for you guys to enjoy and read =) Im not even in the mood to blog but i feel kinda guilty leaving one behind.

Song: Look What U've Done
Singer: Jet

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Song: Only Hope
Singer: Mandy Moore

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony,
singing in all that I am

At the top of my lungs,
I'm giving it back.
So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours,
I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

hmmmmm, hmmmmm, oooooh.

I enjoyed listening to these songs when looking for inspiration. What songs are you into? please share them with me. Dont worry, im not all about love songs. There's more to me than being all lovey dovey so dont hesitate to share kz? =)

Nothing to share

2004-11-08T05:10:00.000-08:00

I woke up today knowing that i have a few things to do. Clean my room, paint the house, throw away the trash and take a nice long shower coz i was sweating like there's no tommorow. Anyways, I finished painting and the rest of things that i was suppose to do. The shower was so refreshing after all that hard work. Hm.. thats what i did in the morning if you guys were wondering.

So in the afternoon, I was looking forward for a game of football since i was stuck at home doing DIY. Waited for my friend to come to pick me up and while waiting i took a lil nap. Good thing i didnt over do it with the nap coz i woke up just on time when he arrived. Arrived at school but had to wait a lil while longer coz ppl were havin their public exam. So later i did managed to have a nice match with me scoring a few goals.. Hehe.. sorry i cant help myself. Been on a goal draught since October. =) Later in the evening, I went for drinks with my friends after sweating out from the game. Believe me when i say that i was thirsty. My throat was dry and so are my lips. Sigh.. guess i wont be kissing anytime soon. The funny thing was that i ordered 3 glasses of cincau sarsi and i enjoyed every single drop of it. Even had this weird beverage which im not quite sure what it is but it was nice nonetheless.

Got back home later and took a shower after that. I wasnt really hungry after having all of those beverages. So thats what i did today. I guess i have paint again tommorow since there is still a few places i kinda missed.

Hm.. What is the thing that makes you go on with life? Is it because you believe in the future that you cant see? or maybe you go on with life just because youre still living. I guess there is always something that inspire us to pull our chin up to do the things that we're suppose to do. So my thought for today is Inspiration. Everything that we do often start with inspiration. It doesnt matter if those things are bad or good because inspiration helps us to move forward. Just like poets with their poetry or students with their studies. Inspiration gives us the will to live and i believe that every single one in this world is inspired to achieve a major gold in their lives. Maybe not all but the time will come for those who have not set sight towards a certain gold.

So, What inspire you to do the things that you do? Well as an example, Im usually inspired to write something because of love. It doesnt matter if im in love or suffering from a broken heart, i will certain have something to write because emotions are meant to be expressed. I feel the best action is to write it all out rather than physically expressing yourself that might cause harm. Gosh.. i had to learn that the hard way. Even if im not in love, there is always something that can inspire me to write like my beloved friends which i love dearly and also not forgetting my family that brought me life into this world. So to keep it short, Love inspires me to do the things that i do. As long as love still exist in this lifetime, my soul will always be around. Till my last breath i shall love especially the ones that are close to my heart.

A famous man once said "A friend is one who knows who you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still gently allows you to grow." I believe in this everyday and hold on to these words as it inspire me to not judge my friends but to love them as they are.

If you guys have any feedback that you like to share with me. By all means.. please do. Im interested with what you have to say as your thoughts are as valuable as mine =)

Ordinary Sunday

2004-11-07T23:30:00.000-08:00

Life is ordinary on a Sunday morning, well atleast for me. I usually wake up with a happy smile from the sun or a gloomy cloud thats about to cry. It doesnt make much difference to me since i love my sundays no matter how the weather is like. It must be nice to have that feeling of being free and living without a single worry in the world. I see that as complete happiness or rather 'Perfection' which sounds like a fairytale to me. What is your version of perfection i wonder.. Well i guess only you can tell me that.

I can never picture Perfection because i believe it doesnt exist. Hm.. maybe im too harsh. I ought to say that perfection is rare and can only be found once or if youre lucky twice in your lifetime. For me it would be like feeling true love for the first time eventhough its not meant to last forever. I reckon for that one momment, u felt heaven and everything is perfect. I dont think ill be feeling that way anytime soon. I dont really know where im going with this but honestly speaking im just typing out sentences thats written in my mind. It might not make sense to you but sometimes if you take the time to really listen to what your mind have to say besides our heart, Im pretty sure you'll discover something that you never thought would be there.

Wish i can just translate my feelings into words but i feel its impossible. Maybe its because the word im looking for doesnt exist in this world. I guess its not meant for me to understand it but just going through with that feeling. I guess you guys are wondering what im talking about. Well.. i cant exactly explain it to you all because i dont know how. Ive been having mixed emotions lately and NO its not mood swings. The thing is i dont know why im feeling this way but i know it makes me feel good deep down. Its even better than having a crush on a girl or something simillar. Till now, i dont have an answer to it but i guess i dont have to because i dont want it to go away.

Well im sorry for such a lame post coz nothin real seems to be happening lately or rather ordinary things has been happening. So, i guess ill end this post with a lil something that i wrote earlier in the morning.

Looking at you

That picture still clear in my mind,
Those memories cant be erase with time,
Looking down that road,
Searching for a sign,
Still cant find a way for you to be mine.

Ive waited for time to show me the way,
Patience of the heart for that feeling to grow,
Making sure this love will be true,
Just let me see the road,
And ill give my heart to you.

Hoping for you to feel the same,
Looking at your heart in my dreams,
Remembering that momment
When you called my name,
Waiting for love come knockin at the door.

Open my eyes and pull myself up,
Knowing this love is effecting me costly,
This day will come from time to time,
crossing my fingers with an open heart,
And maybe just maybe it will be a reality.

Hm.. Maybe it sounds like obsession to you and maybe it is. Just pointing out its just another dull poetry that ive written for you all to read. I can assure you that its not personally related. Well.. not yet.. ;) so, Enjoy? ill put an effort to keep it interesting for my next one =)

Love Songs For Everyone Part 2

2004-11-06T14:30:00.000-08:00

Heyy again.. Well this post is the second part of the previous post. I was thinking.. why add 2 songs while i can add 3? so here's two more for you guys to read =). Its from one of my fav. singer Mr Robbie Williams. Enjoy.. Hm.. I remembered hearing this first song when i was back in the UK. It reminded me of the time ive fallen in love with this girl and stayed in love eversince i saw her. Im not sure whether this song was out yet when i first saw her but it certainly a memory i will never erase... This is dedicated to all the first love out there ;)

Song: She's The One
Singer: Robbie Williams

I was her, she was me
We were one, we were free
And if there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

We were young, we were wrong
We were fine all along
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

When you get to where you wanna go
And you know the things you wanna know
You're smiling
When you said what you wanna say
And you know the way you wanna play
You'll be so high you'll be flying

Though the sea will be strong
I know we'll carry on
Cos if there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

When you get to where you wanna go
And you know the things you wanna know
You're smiling

When you said what you wanna say
And you know the way you wanna say it
You'll be so high you'll be flying

I was her, she was me
We were one, we were free
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
Yeah she's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
She's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

and now here's the other one. This song brings me quite a few memories as it was with me when im feeling down and low. When i feel that love starts to abandon me somehow, i just listen to this song and i know that deep down love is always there waiting to be unfold. So here it is.. Angels

Song: Angels
Singer: Robbie Williams

I sit and wait,
Does an Angel contemplate my fate,
And do they know,
The places where we go when we're grey and old.

Cos ive been told,
That salvation lets their wings unfold,
so when im lying in my bed,
Thought running through my head,
And i feel that love is dead,
Im loving Angels instead.

* And Through it all she offers me protection,
Alot of love and affection,
Whether im right or wrong.
And down the waterfall,
Wherever it may take me,
I know that life wont break me,
When i come to call,
She wont forsake me,
Im loving Angels instead.

When im feeling weak,
And my pain walks down a one way street,
I look above,
and i know ill always be blessed with love,
And as the feeling grows,
She breathes flesh to my bones,
And when love is dead,
Im loving Angels instead.

[* 2x]

Love Songs For Everyone Part 1

2004-11-05T21:15:00.000-08:00

Heyy everyone.. Well i dont think i outta start with my day coz i know its routine and dull just like any other day. Its what normal people go through everyday so you get the picture ay? Well.. i did woke up pretty late today due to the gathering i went through last night.. I had a blast especially spending time with my closest friends n just hanging out. We had food that was only ready to serve at 10pm. Hehe.. you all can just imagine how its like when there's about 8-10 people with an empty stomach waiting for food to be served. =P I was alright though coz i had something before i went there. Hmm.. i think most of time, i was on the ps2 challengin my friends on Winning Eleven 8 which is a football game if you were wondering. It was nice.. There was only one girl out of all people at Darrel's. Guys.. if youre thinking what im thinking.. its nothing like that. We're all gentlemen so we behaved appropriately according to the situation ;) I went back around 12 or so while the rest of the guys were goin back a lil later or just stayin overnight.

Right.. so that was last night and today is today.. so i got nothing much to say about today really except that i stayed at home and have been online since morning. How sad is that ay? I dont think i remembered stepping out of the house today. It was raining in the afternoon, so i thought of taking a nap but i couldnt. I was suppose to get the clothes outside but it was all wet already so i just stood by the door while looking at the sky and the wet surface on the floor. Oh yea.. there is one interesting about today though. I saw my cat humping a stray. I know.. it sounds disgusting but its just weird the way it all happened. I mean besides my cat, there was 3 other cats watching and then later took turn to hump that stray.. poor kitty.. I can tell ya that it was noisy outside till night time. Hm.. just imagined if those cats were real people.. Goshh.. that is sick..

Hm.. i dont think i should carry on with that.. well i dont think i have any thoughts that i can share with you guys today coz basically i just didnt want to think about anything besides waiting for the day to pass by n hoping tommorow will be a better one. So, i just got a couple of lyrics for you lot to read. Its a couple of love songs if you were wondering.. Who knows.. maybe youre currently in love and reading these lyrics might inspire you to express your love to that special someone. Call me an old romantic, i know it sounds lame but it certainly works for me. Ok.. so ill just end it here and leave it to you all to read my post.. Love you all =)

Song: Valentine
Singer: Martina McBride

If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you

* And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time

You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

All of my life I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And shown me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
La la la ...

[Repeat *]

'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

Something To Think About

2004-11-04T17:18:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. i kinda woke up late today.. 1.30pm to be exact. Its my fault really since i stayed up late last night to watch a football match but it was worth it though. Liverpool won 1-0! yay~ hehe.. alright i wont go so much into details on that. Well ive just taken my shower n im on the comp posting this to you all. Havent really got myself dressed but i guess you guys dont really wanna know that right? ;) Anyways.. nothing much is happening today besides goin over to Darrel's later in the evening to attend a friendly gathering.

So.. where was i? oh yea.. i want to share with you guys about something that ive been thinking about while i was in the shower and no its nothing too personal. More towards something general really. Well have you guys ever thought about the crossroads in your life? Like one day youre given a choice to choose a life full of riches or a life full with love.. Somethin like that. Hm.. im pretty sure most of you do think about it i guess. Well my question is have you guys ever regret choosing a path where you know that there is no turning back? I know ive been down that road a few times before and ive just recently chose a path which i think that ill regret later. Im not going to go into too much details on that. If youre curious you can always ask me i guess.

Sometimes i cant tell between dreams and reality. I know most of the time i live in the denial of my dreams because it makes me feel good. You guys know right? like living in your own little world even though its just for awhile. Then when reality strikes its just overwhelming sometimes. I remembered about how it was for me to make a choice between the person that i love and the person that i like. I chose the person that i like in the end because it was sure thing while choosing the path towards the person that i love would have been risky and unpredictable. Guess we all shouldnt always choose the sure thing in life because everything that's easy always come with a price at the end of the day. Im not really sure how i can continue writing about this right now because im not so certain if i have the answer for my own question. Maybe ill just write a little something to end my post of today.

Facing Choices

Never imagined it would come to this,
Facing this crossroad infront of me,
All those memories im sure to miss,
Once i choose that road towards thee.

Many encountered such simillar path,
Knowing one day it will change one's life,
Feeling the regret is never the answer,
Something new you will certainly have.

What if there will be no tommorow,
Will you choose to express those words?
Knowing that it will bring you sorrow,
but to others you'll never be forgotten.

Ill end my words with a simple note,
Are you really happy now?
Making that choice that you may regret,
Having a life full with uncertainty..

Going Out n Gettin a Life

2004-11-03T05:19:00.000-08:00

Heyy.. Today was actually pretty good for me coz i actually went out and hang out abit with me friends. Ok ok.. So, i woke up quite late today.. 11.30am to be exact. Everything else was routine like shower, got dressed stuff like that. Didnt have lunch just an early breakfast. I was ok with it.

Hehe.. right so besides all that i actually catched a movie. No.. its not a new because i watched it in Star movies. Perhaps you guys had watched it before. Its called 'Meet Joe Black'. I know its a chick flick considering Brad Pitt is in it lookin all good and hunky like he always do but it was really a good movie. I dont plan to give you lot a review on it so there. Im just gonna say a lil something about it. Its a great movie.. im telling you.. watched it a few times already and only today i really know what the movie is all about. It has a nice blend of emotions in it but personally i think the movie is mainly about LOVE n death. The girl in the movie was hot.. but not hot enough to make my nose bleed unfortunately =D hehe..

So.. later on, i went out me friends Julian n the gang to play a lil footie which is not advisable for people who's fasting. Had a good game. Nice work out. Did score any but still it was nice. So that's that. ok.. after that, i had drinks with them which are non- alcoholic of course. that was refreshing definitely after a long hot game of football in school. Later i went back home n had my dinner. I had a value meal from KFC. I was full after that.. i think if youre still reading this till now you really do wanna know about my day. Appreaciate it ;D hehe.. Well this is partly why i start posting but mainly is because i wanna add in my thoughts in here so that you guys would know a lil bit about me.

Hm.. my thoughts today is not really love related but more towards living life to the fullest. Of course i thought about the person i like from time to time but it doesnt seem to take over today.. Maybe im slowly moving on or maybe im just focusing on something else today. After watching the movie 'Meet Joe Black' , I got me thinking about what i do in life. Its amazing how a person can make his life complete in just a few days. I know its just a movie but its not impossible. How can we know how long we have to live. Or sometimes when we're stuck in a life threatenin situation.. Im pretty sure we would ask ourselves this question ' Am i going to die?' to a certain point. I just hope that anyone who reads this would realise how important one day is compared to weeks and months or even years. In one day, your whole world can change. Maybe all of us can wake up one day and would say ' there's nothing left in this world that i want. Everything that i desire is here with me'. Till that day comes, dont give up on anything.

I just wanna end my blog entry by saying i love you all (my friends n family) if youre reading this. I dont wanna end my days without you guys knowing that. I know i can tell you lot personally but just in case you dont hear from me.. =)

My Life During Holidays

2004-11-02T09:30:00.000-08:00

So here i am again.. Posting another unproductive blog for you all to read. Hm.. I woke up slightly earlier today at 8.30am. I dont really know why im up but one thing is for sure.. im completely lost. So.. yea.. i did the routine stuff like take a shower and dressed myself. Its funny when i think about it, People think of holidays or school breaks as something really great but to me its pretty much torture coz i spend most of the time at home resting and slowly turning myself to a bum which i tried so hard to get rid of when i started school. I guess all my efforts of becomin a useful didnt really paid off at the end of the day. Oh well, i can always start again next year ;). Hm.. My parents said that its so fortunate that ive been given a long break such as this coz once you start working. You'll be hoping for such breaks. I guess theyre rite in some sense. Maybe ill understand it more once im in their shoes.

I actually pictured myself being somewhere exotic or atleast somewhere with a nice scenery during the hols. Hm.. Maybe I can look forward to Raya N new years day. I know that it wont be lonely durin raya coz ill have my friends around n also my family n close relatives. I can probably do something nice durin New year's eve like goin out somewhere and do the new year countdown with my mates. Hehe.. looks like i have something to look forward to afterall.. oh yea.. i can always study so that ill be more prepared for next year but ive started already so i guess its not worth mentioning any further.

Alrighty, Its time for my thought of the day. Before i took my shower, I opened my front door and just stand there for a momment. I know its sounds stupid but i was just amazed with the way the wind blowed, the sound of birds singing, the beautiful blue sky, you get the picture. so, i came up with something that goes a lil bit like this:

Perfect day

That Beautiful sky in baby blue,
Birds singing expressing love,
Every thought had turn into you,
Feeling that its a sign from heaven above.

Infatuation is a dangerous game,
Fallen in love is even more deadly,
Imagining you calling my name,
is like that song truly, madly, deeply.

my day seems to relate to you,
eventhough you are relaxing,
maybe you are something new,
Hearing your name feels so amazing.

Touching my heart with your smile,
Making my life seem worthwhile,
Ending my words with a perfect day,
Waiting for you to show me the way...

I guess my mind is just full with love lately. So Its just something for you lot to read. Its my thoughts anyways so you guys cant blame me. I love to think about love even though ppl think its chessy or lame. I know i think about it often but it keeps me occupied like im in the world of my own. Ever been to that special place in your mind? I dont mean a place where u'll turn all messed up inside but its like that place where you can just escape from all your troubles. Maybe you all have it when you sit alone or just stare into space. Well thats a thought for you.

Love you guys.. till next time, Laterz =)

2004-11-01T01:30:00.000-08:00

I am an Aquarius.
(Also known as "Water Bearer")
My Horroscope starts like this:
" A hopeless and helpless dreamer, forever out of touch with reality, an Aquarius is ever lost in his own fantasy world. " (Read more | Find yours)

My thought for today

2004-10-31T23:37:00.000-08:00

Heyy everyone, Wats up? this is my first time posting a blog so i hope it wont be my last. So, let me start with my day then later ill tell you my thoughts for today. Ill probably write one everytime i post a blog. So i hope u guys enjoy reading my thoughts (poetry, lyrics, etc).. well atleast pretend that ure interested ;). Anyways.. i woke up at exactly 11.23am today.. realising that i wasted half of my day just like that. Took my shower n got dressed later. Turn on the comp n ive been on it ever since. I know that i sound a lil Pathetic but its what i do during the hols. Gosh.. im starting this pattern of bein a bum again. Did it for half a year at the end of last year. So i know exactly how its like for all the unemployed out there.

Hm.. so, Lets get on with my though for today. I woke up today and the first thing that came to mind was an image of this girl that i have a thing for eversince i saw her. So, i asked myself.. What the hell am i thinking about? Why am i thinking about her? while i know that she doesnt have a thing for me. Maybe its because im lame, Maybe im a loser or maybe i just like thinking about girls? hehe.. i dont exactly know the answer but one thing is for sure, Its like someone drawn pictures in my head with a permanent marker. sigh.. well anyways... here's what i came up with when i was on the comp. Lines just started to pass through my my mind the more i thought about her. So i typed it out on the notepad prog.

Picturing Her

Those eyes like an Angel,
Hair that hides from the sun,
You cover me with your unknown happiness,
To me you are the one.

When I wake up in the morning,
I look up towards that blue sky,
I see your face smiling from far,
Filling my day with a beautiful sight.

And when I look up to the moon,
I feel so sad and lonely,
Knowing you're so close,
And yet you're so far away.
to come here and hold me.

Seeing you in my dreams,
They are filled with the purest love,
Just hoping to be with you,
Keeps me going to believe in myself.

But you are just a mere picture,
That renascence in my thoughts,
Love that feels forever,
Reserved especially for you..

Ill end it here for now, I know its a love poetry. so sue me.. Maybe ill post something which are not love related next time so till then.. Remember to say I LOVE YOU towards your love ones coz u never know what tommorow brings u..